“Apart from the lunatic fringe that wants to do away with men altogether there is a more ‘masculine’ and a more ‘feminine’ form of feminism; the former predictably more frequent in masculine, the latter more frequent in feminine, countries. The masculine form claims that women should have the same possibilities as men have… The feminine form wants to change society, men included… The second form, it seems to me, represents a more authentic women’s liberation than the first and an innovation over our present society it allows women to contribute their unique values to society” – Geert Hofstede – anthropologist.
No, I’m not a feminist. I could not even start a conversation about it because I do not know enough about it. In fact, I say that I am the terror of the feminists: the new joke at home is me waiting for my husband with the beer already opened.
I am speaking here first as a woman, therefore knowledgeable of what Hofstede called female “values”: caring, sheltering (uterus). But I specially want to speak as a human being; a being who feels bad every time that perceives a seed of separation and exclusion on discussions about the feminine.
If our great goal is to return to the state of unity; a state that did not know concepts of good or evil, right or wrong, male or female; any female movement would have, in my opinion, to include man. Our new movement must speak of sorority, of equality, but must also welcome man.
I say this because I think that while man has had a privileged position in society, he is as confused about his role as we are. We women had to adopt a masculine posture to gain space. The more masculine qualities we develop (aims, goals, achievements), the more lost men are getting. And now that we are rescuing our femininity, what should they be? What is their new role? How should they relate to this woman who is beginning to recognize her power?
Going back to Hofstede’s text, I think this is one of the great contributions we can make to society as women: to exercise empathy and compassion, welcoming man so that he can be within this new context and, as we do (because we are also learning), welcome his feminine.
In fact, healing lies in the balance of the masculine and feminine in each of us, regardless of the sex with which we identify. And the truth is that we can only help the other to welcome these two aspects when this is well resolved in ourselves.
We can restore this balance through meditative practices, healing practices, and therapies – what matters first is to recognize how much it affects every other aspect of our lives. Do you have ideas and you cannot make them happen? Maybe your male is out of balance. Too much conflicts in the relationship? Maybe your feminine is in need of attention. Start by looking at this.
The movement of sorority (sisterhood between women) cannot, at the same time, be a movement of exclusion of man because this, considered from the point of view of unity, is a dichotomy.
If we consider that the transcendental aspect of relationships is interdependence, we will see that the other is an important part in the path that will lead us to access our full potential as human beings.
This is a discussion that is just beginning. There is much to learn, but how about we start with a more compassionate look? Whenever the subject is female or male, let us ask ourselves: “Does this include, integrate, or exclude?” And then we’ll know where to go.