A Reflection on Hearing and the Hability to Listen

In French, listening is said to mean to “understand.” “Ecouter” refers only to the physical ability to hear. “I heard” is stated as “j’entendu parler,” that is, it was what I understood that someone supposedly said, not necessarily what he said.

Much conflict could be avoided by simply recognizing this fact: what the other says goes through my filter – the filter of all the experiences I have had, of my self-esteem, of my beliefs, of my interactions with that person. And this gives a whole new meaning to what has been “heard.”

Remember when we played “cordless phone?” It was a good representation of this process: I say something, the other person understands otherwise, and a third person understands in an even more distorted manner.

This is why in Nonviolent Communication we are told to use: “When I hear what you say, I feel this way or that way,” and not “You offend me or irritate me,” since in fact that person does not have the power to irritate. This is a power that belongs to you, and only you allow or don’t allow yourself to be irritated, according to your emotional control – not according to what you hear.

Listening in Coaching

In Coaching, I would say that half the work is in what we call active listening. For the International Coaching Federation, active listening is “the key to the inner world of the client.” It is to listen without an agenda, without wanting to present a solution to the problem of that person, but to be there as someone curious. What would it be like to be in that position, feeling that way? What questions can I ask to gain access to that inner world? It is no wonder that this is a competence to be examined when a Coach is trying to obtain a credential.

Hearing in Anthroposophy

Hearing, for Anthroposophy, is linked to the spiritual body. “This sense brings the possibility of listening to the most varied sounds, their receptors are located in the ears and communicate something about the interiority of things.” When listening to a song, one can “know” something of an intimate nature about its composer. And when you hear someone say, “Hear the voice of your heart!” – surely this sounds like something very deep, related to your own Self.” ¹

Hearing and emotions

Finally, a little table published in Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life,” about hearing and its emotional reasons, as well as its healing statements: 

Ears	Represent the capacity to hear	I Hear with love.
– Pain	Anger. Not willing to hear. Turmoil. Parents discussing.	Harmony surrounds me. I hear with love what is pleasant and good. I am a center for love.
– Deafness	Rejection, stubbornness, isolation. What you do not want to hear? Do not bother me.	I hear what is divine and rejoice with all that I can hear. I am one with everything.
– Buzzing	Refuse to listen. Not listening to the inner voice. Stubbornness.	I trust my Higher Self. I hear my inner voice with love. I release everything that is different from the action of love.

 

¹Relação Entre Cura e Religião à Luz da Antroposofia, by Maria do Carmo C. Vale